Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
