The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize