So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
