Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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