i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
