I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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