There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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