he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
