I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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