one two three fourrrrnication!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
