I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
