btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
