So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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