I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
