i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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