I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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