There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
