I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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