she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
