And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
