saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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