I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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