I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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