how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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