You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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