I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
They took my balls.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
