Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
