this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That accounts for only three of the penises
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
