remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Duck Duck Cougar?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize