do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
