"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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