speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
