My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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