I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
