I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
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he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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