and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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