I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
