Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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