ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
