How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
