I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
