I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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