I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
