Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I want her autograph on my taint
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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