im having a threesome with these popsicles
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
