Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
