what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize