i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
