In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
