I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
