On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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