You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize