I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize