Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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