I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
