His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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