Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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