How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
