I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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