shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize