This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm at about main and main street
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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